In a show!

There is a Web site called 43 Things that I used to spend quite a lot of time on.

It is basically a bucket list site. You list out 43 things you would like to do in your life. They range from the practical -- drink more water -- to the incredible -- fly with the Blue Angels -- to the fantastical -- dance with someone like Gene Kelly. (all real examples taken from the site).

Well, one of my items was -- have a photo shown in a gallery or at a show.

And... drum roll please. That is happening tonight! I hung up the photo this morning and the event is tonight! I am extraordinarily nervous. Will people like the photo? Will someone buy the photo? (oh please, oh please!)

I am also quite excited! I mean how cool is this! My photo is hanging on a wall (not my own) and people (not my family) will be looking at it!

Now, if I can just translate this exhilaration into action and keep looking for opportunities like this, I will be on a roll!

Ahhh, absence

Hello out there in Blog-land, please pardon my absence.

My creative soul has been in hiding these past months. Why has it been hiding you ask?

Good question, I say. Because really, it is a good question. Why is it that I seem to stop creating when I feel overwhelmed and attacked? I think a large part of my creative soul just goes into a protective fetal position. Just make it through the bad parts, it says to me. Don't risk anymore. Don't put yourself out there any more because something else bad may happen.

I don't want to do that anymore. Of course, I don't want to feel overwhelmed and attacked any more either, but ahhh, life. She never gives what we want does she?

I look back all the creative minds in our past, and how their struggles resulted in great art. I need to learn to channel that. Learn to take the hard parts and make them work for me. Make lemonade out of lemons... ahh, cliches, where would we be without them.

Of course, I feel like a bit of a whiner here. Is my life bad? Am I suffering? No. I am not. I have shelter. I have food. I am physically safe. I am loved by at least a few people. I am employed.

However, in my little sheltered bubble, times have been tough. I just try to take solace and not be too hard on myself and be grateful for what I have, while seeking... While seeking a fulfilling life.

"What would it be like if you lived each day, each breath, as a work of art in progress? Imagine that you are a Masterpiece unfolding, every second of every day, a work of art taking form with every breath." - Thomas Crum

Web sisters

I have found myself a group of "sisters" and I couldn't be happier.

I realize that it is 2010 and online forums have been around for quite some time, but I am a relative newcomer to anything more complex than e-mail when it comes to my online presence. I was always hesitant to join a group of people I couldn't see or hear. Call me old fashioned I guess, but it made me nervous.

I took the baby step a few years back and joined MySpace. I can honestly claim in was for the music. My favorite band in the world -- at that particular time in my life -- had a show coming up that I couldn't find information about anywhere else but MySpace. So I signed up. It was ok. I found old friends. Saw what folks had been up to since high school... It was good, but not life-changing.

Then came the next step. Facebook. Yep, there I was. Posting photos and following updates of people I hadn't actually talked to in years. But I was having fun.

Then I joined an online forum. I was nervous. I was scared. I didn't want to share too much, but I was sooo interested in what was being said by others. I was cautious.

Imagine my amazement and happiness when the forum turned out to be full of some of the most amazing women I have ever had the privilege to "meet." (ok, I have met two IRL :))

These women come from all over the world, range in ages, ethnicities, political and religious beliefs and interests... Yet, the common tie that brought us all together seems stronger than that.

There are disagreements occasionally sure. There are some harsh truths written about. There are raw feelings and emotions shared. But in the end, there is support. The type of support that is often hard to find -- the support that is there even when you screw up, the support that is there even when folks disagree with you, the support that is there even when you have a hard time supporting yourself.

As I have learned more about these women, my friendships with them are moving into my "real" world. I wonder about these women. I think of them when something reminds me of them. I worry about them when I know things are hard in their life.

What is my reason for posting this? In the end, it was just to ruminate about this group and my luck at finding it. And also to say thank you.

So to my "sisters," thank you.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." - C.S. Lewis

What's in a word?

What's in a word? I have been thinking about this off and on for quite awhile. I am not quite sure what sparked this latest thought train, but it has slowly but steadily been chugging away in my brain for about a week.

What do I mean by "what's in a word?"

First example -- Alabaster vs. pale.

"She has such lovely alabaster skin" or "She is quite pale."

Hmm, I know which one I choose.

To me, alabaster brings images of beauty and class and many things wonderful, while pale gives me visions of frail and sickly things.

Another example -- make love vs. have sex.

Oh my lord, I think there is even a 50 Cent lyric about this... let me check...

Indeed I was right. Courtesy 50.

"I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love "

Actually, a very succinct way of expressing what I was thinking, thank you Mr. Cent.

There are so many more that I could list but those are the ones that came most quickly to mind.

It just brings such an interesting spin to language and the power that it has. Just ask Rahm Emanuel, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and the folks at Special Olympics. They have been embroiled in a national... ummm, snit? over the word "retard" and its use.

Remember the rhyme, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me? Oh, how I vehemently disagree. Words can do such harm if used carelessly or with venom. The opposite is true, words have the power to calm, to express admiration, praise or love.

As I am writing this, I am thinking of how many facets this topic has in my mind. Just skimming the surface and I can think of so many things -- the power of political language, the 1st Amendment, grammar and how it can divide people along education lines just to name a few.

I think this will be something I post about again in the future. Just get my musings out there in the great land of the internet.

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."

-Mark Twain

Big Ol' Snowball of... Negative Energy

Do you believe in the "Snowball Effect?"

I had honestly never given it much thought until recently.

It started with a simple comment, as so many things do.

I have started really focusing on getting in better shape. I am going to our local YMCA at least a few times a week. My boyfriend came with me the other day. On our way home I was mentioning how previously, I would get frustrated when working out because I never felt like I was getting results. Maybe I am impatient, maybe I am not working out effectively, maybe I just eat too darn much, who knows. The point was, that historically, I have gotten frustrated and ended up giving up.

My boyfriend said, well eventually, you will get started and then it will be the "Snowball Effect." Positive things will just keep piling on and you will notice more and more, and more quickly and more quickly...

Hmmm. Really? Maybe it is my mindset right now, but I have always seen the snowball as a large and scary thing.

How do I change my mindset? How do I start believing that positivity begets positivity? Right now, I am afraid I see positive things as individual beacons in a sea of negativity.

How do I change that sea into something more like this?

'It was only a kiss'

Those who know me will probably know how much I love music. I have something playing almost all the time (at this very moment? Zelda by the Lonely H just in case you were wondering).

I have never found it easy to categorize what type of music I love. I have leanings for certain -- alternative, singer-songwriter type stuff -- but in general, I just love music.

That being said there are some songs that evoke just a little more in me. These songs may not even come right to mind when I am thinking of those "Favorite Songs" that we are all supposed to have, but there is something about them.

One such song for me is Mr. Brightside by The Killers. I have loved that song since the first time I heard it and have been singing along with it ever since. Of course, it got a little too much airplay for my taste and I grew a little tired of it for awhile, but it is an older song now, and when it happens to play, well, it just puts a smile on my face.

I love that. This little 3:43 second song (yes, I just looked that up :)) can, at least for a few seconds, make me forget the traffic I am sitting in, or the deadline stress I am facing or any of the other myriad of things that so occupy my mind.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

"Jealousy, turning saints into the seas

Swimming through sick lullabies..."

The Killers

Flour everywhere

I had the day off work today. It was wonderful to have the break in routine. For some reason, days off during the week are always more fun for me.

After the requisite sleeping in, I puttered around trying to decide what I wanted to do with my day. After a few false starts -- giving myself a little manicure, folding some clothes -- I settled on a course of action. Eggs.

Eggs, you ask? What in the world? Well, we have 3.5 dozen eggs in our refrigerator. We get milk and eggs delivered to a box on our front porch every Monday morning (much to the consternation of our dog) and we do not go through eggs that quickly. So, the surplus.

I perused recipes, looking for things to do with eggs. I made deviled eggs. Ok. 6 down. 3 dozen to go. Then I made chocolate chip cookies. Seeing that four hours later they are almost gone, I think that was a good choice. Hey, it made a dent in the third carton of eggs.

Since I was in the kitchen and out of egg ideas, I started some whole wheat bread. While I was waiting for the yeast to dissolve, I ran into a problem. I didn't have any buttermilk. So insert daily learning experience here. I made my own. 1 tablespoon of white vinegar added to 1 cup minus 1 tablespoon of milk. You let it sit for 5 minutes and voila, buttermilk!

Baking has always been something I enjoy. The smells, the warmth, the memories of my Grandma Roseanna -- all are good.

This is a pretty basic whole wheat bread recipe. It can be made in one day and the final product is good for sandwiches.

“If thou tastest a crust of bread, thou tastest all the stars and all the heavens.”

Robert Browning

And introducing... My Blog!

Years of hemming and hawing about starting a blog have finally culminated in this. Me starting a blog.

Where this venture will take me, I am not 100% certain, though that makes it exciting.

What I hope for right now? A place where I keep track of what makes me smile (family, music, words, food), what makes me laugh (family, life in general) and what inspires me.

"Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I'm with you kid. Let's go." - Maya Angelou